


For The Watch

by Hawkens



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Bottom Jon Snow, Dream Sex, F/M, First Time Blow Jobs, Humor, Introspection, Jon Snow Angst, Jon Snow is pretty and he doesn't know it, Jon Snow knows nothing, Light Angst, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oblivious Jon Snow, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexual Plot, Sexuality Crisis, non consensual groping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:03:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10768614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkens/pseuds/Hawkens
Summary: Sam researches sexuality at the Wall and comes across some surprising information.Now Jon Snow is dealing with the sexual aftermath as best he can.Crack-y idea developed and filling the underpopulated angst/humor catagory.





	1. Intro

It started out innocently enough.

Sam had always loved reading and researching topics of any kind and since becoming a brother of the Night's Watch had spent many an hour pouring over the dusty tomes in what passed for the library at Castle Black. Most of the information he gleaned this way was honestly useless. The Watch had had a few meticulous record keepers in its time and the dusty documents of brothers names and duties were endless.

Naturally since Gilly had come to the Wall Sam had had a bit less time to spend on his research. Although he enjoyed the time spent with her and the King's daughter all together reading he couldn't shake the feeling that she was still judging him a bit. Sometimes he tended to make loud exclamations of joy at when he was learning, and maybe it sounded a bit like a girlish cry, but he was just excited. Besides it made it somewhat awkward that the research he wanted to do was related to her.

Not that there'd be any records of her or her family but more when he wanted to look into the old laws of the Watch. To see if they had really always had the rules they currently do with regards to men not taking a wife. To see at what point it became "okay" to "off the record" sneak in some sex as long as it was with a whore. What constituted a whore? What happens if you got attached to one particular whore and wanted to spend all your time with just her?

Those were the kinds of questions Sam had and they weren't ones he felt comfortable discussing with anyone else. Not even Jon. Especially not Jon. Trying to talk to Jon about sex was much more difficult than trying to talk to anyone else about it - even now that Jon had done the deed himself he was still so shy about it.

The fact that Sam found him extremely attractive was, of course, entirely not the point.

This ahem, _research_ , had occupied so much of Sam's time he'd even taken to bringing a few of the books to the food hall so he wouldn't have to stop reading even while he ate. It seemed to make sense especially as Gilly usually found it safer to eat away from the men and since Stannis' arrival Jon's presence had been requested at the King's table.

Of course it didn't mean Sam was completely in the free and clear.

"Look at that! He's not even eating. What d'you got there? Must be important if even your fatass can't tear yourself away to eat." Several of his so-called brothers interrupted his thoughts, ripping one of the books out of his hand.

"Aye, I see you've been wasting your time researching, what, sexuality in the Night's Watch?" Another one of men chimed in with a sneer as read the title of the page Sam was taking notes on. "A waste of time that is. Pop yer cork at Moles Town or keep it to yourself, everyone knows that."

"But that's not true, strictly speaking!" Sam argued, annoyed. So many of his brothers constantly put him down, but the research he was doing was for all of them. "My research proves that the Night's Watch wasn't always so strict about it."

This declaration was met with guffaws from the gathered men. "You mean back in the day they was free to fuck whoever they want?"

"Well, no. There are the same rules against taking a wife, having children and even of possessively claiming another...person." Sam spoke carefully - something the men noticed.

"What, another person? You mean they even had rules on men buggering each other?" One man asked.

"Disgusting." Another spat, his face showing his revulsion.

"Kind of," Sam answered, pausing as he was unsure as to how much information he wanted to divulge. The matter of what went on between two men here at the Wall was not something often spoken of and considering Sam himself wasn't entirely opposed to the idea, depending on the partner, it might have been best to keep his nose out of it.

Unfortunately for him Sam has never been good at keeping quiet. He loves knowledge far too much to keep it all to himself.

"You see, back in the day the men were meant to turn to each other, I believe the initial idea was to keep our brothers closely knitted together. Not through the personal possession of staking claim to one another but to build the bond that much closer by being able to, er, satisfy every need in life." Sam knew his face was flushing but he carried on, "Remember, being here at one point was meant to be an honor not entirely just a prison cell."

Honestly the idea held a certain kind of appeal. _I_ _wonder_ _what_ _it_ _would_ _have_ _been_ _like_ _to_ _be a_   _part_ _of_ _something_ _like_ _that_ , Sam wondered somewhat dreamily. _To_ _actually_ _enjoy_ _each_ _others_ _company_ _in_ _every_ _way_ , _to_ _truly_ _be a_   _part_ _of_ _something_ _larger_ _and_ _more_ _important_ _than_ _just_ _yourself_ _individually_. _To_ _protect_ _the_ _seven_ _kingdoms_ _and_ _each_ _other...they_ _had_ _such_ _great_ _plans..._

"You telling me they actually had laws where a man could fuck another man? What about if a man didn't want to be fucked?!" One of the men asked, truly horrified and possibly worried about his own backside.

"Doesn't sound too far off from raping, I should know." Another joined in with a nasty twist to his mouth. The man to his left seemed to agree and Sam couldn't help but notice the way his eyes drifted over to the main front table.

Sam's eyes followed his to find his closest friend embroiled in another argument with the King. His back was to them but Sam could read the dry expression on the King's face almost as clearly as he could the lust on the man of the Watch.

 _Of course._ Sam ripped his attention away to reply hotly, "It's wasn't like that at all. It was meant to be an honor, to serve your fellow man. And anyway it wasn't just _any_ man. It was meant to be a mutually respectful arrangement."

After a pause Sam added with a small smirk, "The only one who must serve would be the Lord Commander. Which I think they set up to make sure he didn't think himself too far above the men and also to make sure the men remained loyal to him. But go ahead and try to bring that up to Ser Alliser after the election and see what he thinks of that!"

*****

"Only...Ser Alliser didn't win the election after all..."

Sam could not bring himself to meet Jon's eyes. It had only take an hour after his best friend was elected as the new Lord Commander of the Night's Watch for that same group of men to find him once again and demand to see the old books where, sure enough, it was still written as a law. An old forgotten law to be sure, but one that was _technically_ still in effect.

"I see." Jon replied softly and after a long pause, "Who exactly did you tell this to?"

It was difficult to ascertain from Jon's tone of voice but he didn't necessarily sound mad. More just like he was still processing the information.

"The hall was quite full, Jon, anyone could've heard us. I wasn't exactly trying to be quiet, I mean, it was weeks ago...and I had no idea that - Jon, I'm so so sorry." Suddenly Sam pulled his head up and placed a hand on Jon's shoulder where he sat at the desk in his brand new quarters.

"Please, please know that I completely forgot about it. And it had nothing to do with why I nominated you as Lord Commander. You're brave and wise and true with a good heart to do what needs to be done and you inspire us all, please, I swear that this wasn't what I meant to have happen."

Jon blinked at him, stunned for a moment before his lips curved into a faint smile before quickly fading. "Sam, of course I wouldn't have thought that. You're my best friend, I know seeing me humiliated isn't something you would've wanted."

Sam felt an intense rush of relief even as Jon's words didn't hit him quite right. "I...you know I don't and I'm so relieved that you believe me, but, why do you say humiliated?"

"What else would you call it?" Jon asked as he turned his attention back to staring down at the table before him, "I know you meant well yourself, Sam, but what else could it possibly be? I'm finally in a position to be able to effect change and make things better around here and my first action is going to be what? Being made into an object of ridicule?"

Jon sighed heavily, his fist clenching and Sam was too stunned at how he was taking it to speak before he continued. "You would think after everything we've been through together, I would have earned some respect by now, that I've proven I don't think I'm better than they are. Or at the very least that they'd have lost interest with this desire to torment me. But...I suppose some things never change."

Finally, Sam found his voice, "But...they don't want to f- uh. They don't want to...reinact this law to humiliate you, Jon." Sam spoke earnestly, "They want to do it because you're the most attractive person they've ever seen and as much as they respect you and would never touch you without permission they'd leap at the opportunity to have you willingly. Or, at least somewhat so, not fightin' them."

Jon's eyes met his briefly before darting away again as Sam spoke. Finally, he shook his head. "Don't...don't be naive Sam. That's not what this is about, and, that's...that's not even true anyway." Jon shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable, "It's just another excuse to taunt and intimidate to prove a point. The same as it's always been, nothing more."

 _So very like you to not see your own worth even in something like this. Even in something that is so beyond obvious to anyone with eyes..._ Sam couldn't even imagine how it was possible to go through life and be as beautiful as Jon and to somehow be so completely unaware of it. It was a dangerous point for him to argue but he couldn't help it.

"But it _is_ what it is about, Jon. You don't see the way they look at you, but I do. And I have since the moment that I first met you. Why do you think they give you such a hard time? It's not fair that you're the best at fighting _and_ you're smart, loyal, brave, kind...what right to you have to _also_ be more beautiful than any girl they've ever been with?"

"Stop it, Sam." Jon argued and Sam couldn't be imagining the red that now graced his pale delicate features. Even still he didn't really seem to be angry. _Embarrassed yes, but also...maybe a bit pleased? Really? Or is that my wishful thinking_.

"This is pointless," Jon continued, rubbing a hand over his face. "I thank you for giving me the warning about it and I will bring it up at our meeting tomorrow. I will deal with it then in whichever manner is decided upon by our brothers. I am sure the number of our brothers that are honorable men far outweigh the men who would wish to see me degraded. Especially in that way." Sam knew he wasn't imagining the flush to his face now. "Hopefully we can fully dismiss it with a majority vote which shouldn't be too hard to acquire. The men who taunted you that they're going to act on it can just find another way to attempt to undermine me. Will that be all, Sam?"

To be fair, Jon did have a point. It wasn't as though he had only just beaten Alliser in the vote for Lord Commander, he had won by a rather wide margin. But the more skeptical part of Sam, and perhaps a bit guilty, couldn't help but recognize that while _he_ himself may have forgotten about the law before the vote that did not mean the others had.

Still, recognizing his dismissal, Sam took a step away with a shake of his head. "No, that's all there is, Jon, I just...I just want you to be careful, alright? The men-"

"Will learn to find their entertainment elsewhere, Sam." Jon looked at him this time more fondly, a soft smile curving his lip, "It'll be fine. You worry too much."

 _Oh Jon, you blind bloody glorious fool_ , Sam thought even as he nodded and left the new Lord Commander's chambers. _They're going to eat you alive._

*****

Looking down at Alliser from the high table Jon would be lying if he said it wasn't extremely tempting. This is the man who had made his life miserable from the moment he set foot in Castle Black. More than once Alliser had tormented him to the point where Jon had been tempted to take the law into his own hands and fuck the consequences.

 _The foolish desires of a man not grown_. He could recognize it now well enough to make the right decision. It was what it meant to be a leader.

"Ser Alliser," Jon spoke as the laughter at Brian's expense died away. "You have more experience than any other ranger at Castle Black. You proved your valor many times over while defending the wall from the wildling attack. I name you first ranger."

Nodding slightly to the man, Jon could feel his friend's worried looks but he knew he was making the right decision. Lifting a hand to interrupt the soft cheers of agreement from the other brothers more in favor of this move he decided on instinct that this was the time to bring up another difficult matter.

"Now, word has reached my ear of this former law that many of you have spoken about." Jon glanced at Sam quickly before looking back straight and forward, chin high, refusing to show embarrassment. _Don't give them what they want and they'll lose interest._

"As we have discovered that this law is a technicality but is still in effect I move to strike it from our records and be done with it. All in favor?"

"Aye." Sam replied but he was the only one. Most of the men looked on in confusion.

"Wait- what law?"

"A rule going around, what are you talking about?"

 _Of course it wouldn't be that simple,_ Jon sighed, hating to lower himself to having to explain it but that task was saved from him by a dark haired man named Kole whom Jon only vaguely knew.

"Oh what you haven't heard? It's true law that our commander's meant to take cock at our whim!" He called out while giving what Jon could only imagine was meant to be some kind of leer.

"What?! Really? No way!"

"Disgusting, that can't be true."

"You're fucking with us!"

Jon raised his hand to halt the arguing but another man jump up and pointed at Sam, "No, it's actually true, ask him, he's the one what told us of it!"

Scowling at being ignored, Jon got to his feet as well. "It's not a lie or a joke, I would not have wasted our time by bringing it to attention if it was. I appreciate the intention behind it and enjoy a laugh as well as the next man..." Jon very pointedly ignored the laugh this inspired from the men, "But now is not that time for such immature and idle threats."

Eyes falling on Alliser who has remained silent so far, Jon fixes him with a stare as he goes on, daring him to argue the point and encouraging him to silence his men. "We are all fully grown adults and to make light of the law is to undermine the discipline we all strive toward in order to survive the coming Winter. We made it through one battle but we will not do so again as long as we continue to allow childish bullying to follow the Lord Commander."

Silence followed his proclamation and, satisfied, Jon retook his seat. "Now. As I said, I move that we strike the law from our books. Those in favor-"

"But, you haven't even explained what it is." This time the words were spoke, to his surprise, by Hugh, one of the men who helped Edd at the top of the wall during the Wildling attack, an honorable man. "I mean no disrespect, Lord Commander, but how are we to make an informed decision?"

Holding back a sigh, Jon gestures to Sam. "Very well, tell the brothers of it, Sam, in full. Leave no detail out." If they were going to have to go through this, Jon would prefer to go through it all at once and be done with it. They had more pressing matters to attend to.

 _Ridiculous to imagine that they must have followed this law at some point..._ Jon thought to himself as he stared straight ahead, not meeting anyone's eyes through Sam's explanation. To his credit Sam spoke loudly and clearly with an almost clinical tone. _Aye, I'm sure it makes it much easier not to imagine an actual person when describing it, especially not a friend, especially not me..._

As much as he tried not to listen, Jon couldn't help but overhear the bits describing how one of stewards kept a log in which they tracked the number of times and ways they would share intimacies with the commander to account and make sure that everyone had their turn. And to handle the obtaining of any provisions and devices and to care for the Commander should he require it at any point.

 _I can't believe how much they planned this out, they really must have done it at some point, I can't even imagine, just having that as part of your duties. As if it's the most normal thing in the world. As if it's normal to take another man's, to have someone..._ Finally Jon couldn't stand it anymore and he looked down at his own hands clasped together in his lap as Sam went on and on. He knew he was blushing but he couldn't help it. _It's got to be almost over soon._

Finally after what truly felt to be an age Sam finished.

For a long moment no one spoke.

Taking a fortifying breath, Jon finally lifted his head to face this challenge head on. "Thank you, Sam. Now that we are all well informed enough, I trust we can put it to a vote?"

Still no one spoke and several of the men were refusing to meet his eye. Jon bit his lower lip before he could stop himself, shifting in his seat a little, wishing he could escape the awkward embarrassment but knowing he had to be strong. Wetting his lips briefly he nodded again to no one in particular.

"Great. All in favor of striking it from our law? Say aye."

"Aye." Jon himself spoke, as did Edd, Sam, a few others and Alliser himself. Jon appreciated it as he looked at the man and gave the slightest of nods. _Finally we can put it behind us. Thank the gods Maester Amon wasn't here to witness this._

Assuming the rest of the men were still in shock or too embarrassed, Jon was about to move on but hesitated for a moment. Technically, he was supposed to...

"All opposed. Say nay."

"Nay."

All color left Jon's face in a rush as a chorus of voices echoed back at him. Unable to stop himself, Jon dropped his head to bang against the table.

_Oh. Fuck me._

*****

See, Sam had known this was going to happen, but did anyone listen? No. And now here they are going on what had to be the second hour, at least, of debate.

"You can't really expect him to agree to something like that, though, it would undermine his entire position as our leader."

"Position as leader? How is he supposed to lead us if we don't know we have his full commitment? If he's meant to take arrows for us but won't even take it up the-"

"I don't see what's wrong with it though anyway! He's meant to serve the men, right? I think that would service us all quite nicely."

"It's not a matter of service it's a matter of his own well being. There's no way ANY man should be force to parade about in nothing but his smallclothes."

"He's meant to encourage-"

"Fuck your encouragement Randall, no man could survive that in these conditions, are you completely fucking mental? That's not even a part of the law anyway!"

The arguing was starting to give Sam a headache and that's nothing to say of how Jon was enduring. Looking up at him, Sam felt his heart go out to his best friend and once again he cursed himself for having started this whole thing. Jon said little and still seemed to be in a state of shock with regards to the...entire situation. When he wasn't looking down and avoiding eye contact he was looking numbly at the men as though he'd never seen anything quite like them before.

"I don't care what any law says, a man has a right to control what is done to his own body."

"Does he really though? Do we get to choose to be freezing? Do we get to choose to sleep in shitty beds, eat disgusting food and not even get to keep our cocks warm in exchange?"

Frowning, Sam banged his fist on the table loudly, calling for order. To his surprise, the men listened. _But then I started this whole thing, if it wasn't for me they wouldn't have ever even had a prayer of having sex with Jon. Oh Jon, did you really have to do that whole...display, with your mouth right before the vote? And just the idea that you have no idea..._

Looking him, Sam sighed, "Look, this bickering is getting us nowhere. I think we can all understand that this is a delicate matter that needs to be discussed more fully. Maybe after we've all had time to think on it we can come back to an agreement."

Before he could stop himself, Sam continued, "I do feel it's important to state, however, that none of this was meant to belittle or degrade the Lord Commander in any way." Turning his attention to his brothers and away from Jon, Sam spoke as firmly as he could. "We obey him and his commands, without question. We chose Jon as Lord Commander because of who he is, he is our leader. This law's intent was to add inspiration to the men, make them feel closer to the Lord Commander as a person, remind them he is just a man and foster closer relations among us all. I can tell you that a lot of what has been said here today has nothing to do with that."

Meeting the eyes of several of the brothers, Sam continued to plead with them. "And that we will never come to an agreement as long as some of you feel the need to use this as a reason to undermine him. You know that's what he thinks, right? That none of this could possibly have anything to do with kinship or even lust, he thinks you're all just making fun of him!"

"That's enough Sam." Jon's soft but firm voice cut him off cold. Rubbing a hand over his face yet again, Jon sighed as he stood. "We have wasted enough time debating this for now, but I want each and every one of you to know that I don't appreciate anyone doubting my commitment. There is _nothing_ I wouldn't do for the Watch. And if it comes to it? Even this. I would do even this, for the Watch. So when next we meet you might want to consider that a bit more carefully." Jon's lips twist into a smile, "You may just end up getting what you asked for."

The room was utterly silent as each man processed the implications of Jon's words.

 _Oh Jon, you just made absolutely certain there is no way we are abolishing this law._ Sam had to recognize the fact even as he tried to will away his own arousal at the thought of a willing Jon Snow in his bed. And the fact that it could be a reality.

For the watch...indeed.


	2. Sam/Jon

It was only after night had fallen and then the sun was starting to rise that the meeting had finally come to something of an end. There was still a lot of business that had to be discussed so those points were shelved for a later date. 

Clearly receiving their new daily tasks took a backseat to discussing having sex with Jon Snow.

Sam shook his head to himself as he escorted said new Lord Commander to his chambers. It was not a requirement by any means, but he felt better to be there as a deterrent from men that may wish to approach him. In a sense it was ridiculous as Jon had been at the Wall for years and had always been as pretty as he is without being sexually attacked. But Sam also knew many of the men would not have considered it before, at least not out loud and in front of the other men, but now that it was not only socially acceptable but something of a _law_ , well, there were a lot of the men that he just plain didn't trust.

"I'm sorry about all this today," Sam apologized again, shutting the door behind himself and Jon and following the other man to his bed, sitting down on it causally as he had a million times before. "I know you know I didn't mean for this to happen but I still can't help but feel responsible."

"Whatever happens is going to happen, Sam." Jon replied, rubbing his head tiredly, "A lot of them are just all talk and would never actually do anything, the rest..." Jon sighs, "I suppose I'll have to deal with it as it happens."

Biting his lip, Sam hesitated to broach the topic but really feels as though he must, unsure if Jon will get there on his own. "Well, there is that, but...Jon, you know..."

"What?"

"It's just...you know that a lot of these men will at least want to do it once, and you know....well, you know how a lot of them were rapers?"

"Yes, Sam, I'm aware."

"Well it's just...as rapers they weren't very, nice, about it, you know?"

Daring a look at him, Sam finds Jon staring at him, "Sam, what are you trying to say?"

"It's just, what if this all does go through and it happens and you have to do it? A lot of the men who will aren't going to be very _gentle_ about it and especially as you have no experience, I was-"

"Sam I'm not afraid of them and-"

"I was just wondering if I could help you!" Sam cut him off loudly, speaking in a rush, "I'm the one responsible for this whole situation and I've done a lot of research on sex and I've talked to Gilly about it, I really think that I could help prepare you for them and I just...You wouldn't mind it though, would you? You know I wouldn't do anything if you did."

"Are you out of your mind, Sam!?" Jon asks, tone rising, "You think I want to... _make_ you fu- uhh, that is to say, have s...sleep with me? You think I want to have my first..." Jon lowers his head into his hands, trying to hide how difficult it is for him. Though clearly failing as he can't even say the words. 

"You think that you being forced to...help me, makes it any better?" Jon finally asks in a softer tone.

Sam inhaled deeply and let it out very slowly.

"How about this then," he began slowly and softly - a similar manner in which one would speak to a wild animal. "Let's just try a little kissing? Just take it nice and easy and we can stop at any time if you really don't like it, don't think you can do it, or it gets awkward."

"It's already awkward - this whole situation is awkward." Jon replies, averting his eyes with a sigh.

Instead of replying, something told Sam to wait. So he did, his own eyes fixed on his friend, watching as the barest hint of red across his cheeks deepens slightly. Waiting as his eyes meet Sam's before darting away again. Waiting as he shifts and sighs, seemingly having some kind of internal battle. Waiting as he clenches his fist and meets Sam's eyes - finally giving him a firm nod.

Taking that as a cue, Sam shifts to face him more fully on the bed, lifting his knee to brush against Jon's leg so he can lean in, putting his weight on a hand on the bed. "You can...close your eyes if you want?" Sam offers with a small smile, "Whatever helps...might make it less awkward."

 _It also might be easier for him to imagine it is someone other than me..._ Sam has to admit to himself as he watches Jon take his advice.

Sam takes a moment to appreciate his long delicate eye lashes, savoring the feeling of being so close to him even as he resolves not to touch. _Nothing but the lips..._ Sam lets out a low breath, trying to hide a moan of want as his eyes drop down to those soft full pink lips.

"Sam, you-"

Jon goes to speak the moment Sam moves in, only barely brushing their lips together before pulling back again abruptly. "Oh, I'm sorry!" He exclaims with dismay, "I thought you...I was just..."

"Oh for gods sake, Sam." Jon frowns, opening his eyes and it's Sam's turn to flush - he had had this all planned out. How he was going to seduce Jon Snow and show him how nice this arrangement could be so he could not feel forced into the inevitable but embrace it. And now he couldn't even get the first kiss down properly. 

"I've kissed before you know, you don't have to treat me like I haven't, I'm not even a virgin." Jon continued defensively and from this close Sam can see his face is definitely very red. Though he's sure his own matches.

"I'm sorry, I was just-"

"See, I know how to do it, you just-" Jon cut himself off with a slight huff before forcibly grabbing Sam by the shoulders and pulling them together hard, enveloping his lips with his own.

All thoughts of not touching Jon further fly out the window the moment he feels that lithe body press fully into him, led by those sinfully full lips caressing and rubbing his own. Sam loses himself completely, falling back against the bed as his arms wrap around Jon, pulling him down with him, above him, anything to not break the connection as the lips move against his own. 

For once sense and logic completely abandon him as he keeps one arm wrapped tightly around Jon, the other flying up to brush over the soft skin of his cheek before intertwining in his soft, silky hair. The brush of Jon's stubbly chin tickles his own as he opens his mouth to moan into him, completely overwhelmed by his touch, his taste and oh gods even his smell fills Sam with an intense burning need. Nothing compares to the sensation and that's before he feels the barest hint of a lick along his lower lip. 

Moaning harder, Sam gasps for breath when Jon breaks the kiss, leaning over Sam with his hands by his head, holding him up. "Seven....hells.... _Jon_..."

"I told you. I know how to."

Looking up at him, Sam is amazed and somewhat embarrassed to see that Jon doesn't seem nearly as effected as he does. Flushing harder, he tries to gather his wits. "Look, I never bloody said you didn't know how I was just...I was just trying to help! Trying not to...uhm..."

"Not to what, scare me?" Jon asks, pushing away to sit back on his haunches. It takes everything in Sam to loosen his hold and let him go when he'd much rather pull him back down. "I don't know why people always assume I'm _afraid_ of...of...it. Just because I don't go around talking about it all the time."

"It's probably something to do with you blushing at mentioning it. I mean most guys love talking about sex and who they'd love to plow or how attractive someone is. You don't disagree but you just blush and clam up." Sam replies, forcing himself to sit up and far more focused on trying to hide his aching erection from his friend. If he'd been paying more attention he might've chosen his words differently.

"Just because I try to be respectful of other people's bodies. That doesn't mean I'm scared of it. " Jon replied and oh shit there was definitely a bit of anger there. "I just don't know what it is about me that makes everyone want to make fun of me for it. 'Oh there's Jon Snow the bastard virgin'," Jon adopts a mocking tone bitterly whist Sam finally manages to sit up and grab a nearby pillow to rest discreetly on his lap. "'Let's constantly dehumanize and mock him by calling him pretty or a girl just because he doesn't like to talk about it all the time. It's not enough he's a miserable mopey bastard lets degrade him a bit more, clearly he deserves it.'"

"But...that's not, you're..." Sam's ability to think still seems crippled by the blood flowing resolutely south but he tries his best, "Maybe some people cruelly mock you because yes, people can be terrible, but when they talk like that? It's also because _they_ want to sleep with you. Because you _are_ pretty."

The anger seems to have mostly left Jon, leaving him looking just tired as he lets out a loud grunting kind of sigh, "Would you stop with that, Sam? Just stop. I understand you're trying to make me feel better, but I've been living with it my whole life, I know their motivations better than anyone. And you want to know what else? You think it's weird that I don't talk about it? Fine, fine..." he lets out a long breath, "I'll talk about it."

There is a slight pause where again Sam feels as though Jon is waiting for him to do something but he just stays silent. After a long pause, finally Jon speaks, his eyes fixed ahead as though looking past Sam. "I _love_ Ygritte, the girl I laid with. So _yes_ I had...I laid with her. Yes, because she was soft and sweet...but moreso hard, brilliant, tough, brave...she challenged me in every way a person can be challenged." 

His lips curved in a soft smile, "She mocked too but I came to see a softness in it. She's was the first person who saw _me_ and said that that was okay. She showed me I could just be myself in all things, including sex. So, _yes_ I lay with her. And it was incredible, but also the most enlightening experience of my life. So I'm sorry if I don't like to think about it because I know that it was a once in a life time thing. And I will always love her...but she's gone. Do you understand now? Why I may not want to talk about it flippantly like other men do?"

Heart thudding guiltily in his chest, Sam had no words. The worst part was he still couldn't stop the throbbing between his legs even as his best friend laid his soul bare in such a raw and heartfelt way. "I'm...I'm sorry, Jon. I didn't mean..." he finally managed, trailing off with a slight frown.

"I...I'm sorry too." Jon lets out a low breath, smiling a little as Sam looks at him questioningly. "I guess I vented to you a little and I know you didn't mean anything by your questions, plus I didn't exactly mean to, uh..well, you know..."

Again, Jon's face turned a soft pink and all at once something clicked in Sam's mind.

Jon had had an experience that few in life were lucky to have. He was in love and got to have sex with the person he loved. It was an experience that he would always treasure for the rest of his days but it also did nothing to help him in the current situation. Because his current situation had nothing to do with love, it was all about lust and while Jon must have lusted for his wildling girl he came to care for her romantically as well. He still had no experience when it came to just sexual release.

Which meant that Sam wasn't the only one who didn't know what he was doing.

With that realization an odd feeling came over Sam. The only thing similar enough he had to compare it to was how he felt when Pyp had refused to let Gilly in before the battle on the Wall and again, a bit later when he had firmly told Gilly that he was a man. Because this situation wasn't _too_ far off in his mind. Again, someone he cared about was in danger, and again he knew he could help - it was just a matter of trusting in himself.

"I didn't mind at all." Sam replies honestly, smiling as Jon looked back at him again with surprise on his face. "You can vent to me any time, Jon, you're my best friend." Moving the pillow aside, Sam sits up straighter resolutely not thinking about the clearly visible tent in his pants. "But as your friend, I am going to be honest with you. I think you're in trouble and I think you know you're in trouble. You may know what you're doing with me but I'm soft and easy-"

"Sam, I'm sorry, you don't have to-"

"No, don't, let me say this." Sam interrupts immediately, pressing a finger to Jon's lips to quiet him. "I am here for whatever you need, always, but I am just trying to help you. If you can swear to me that you're fine and that you don't need any help then I will never ask you about anything sexual again and we can go on as we were." Letting out a breath Sam steels himself, "But if you do need help than I suggest you stop arguing with me and get on your knees. Now."

Heart thudding painfully in his chest, Sam forced himself not to break eye contact with Jon as he watched him process the words. It felt like forever with Jon giving no outward sign of a reaction but Sam forced himself to be patient until finally he was rewarded with the sight of Jon Snow slipping off the bed and down to the floor on his knees in front of Sam.

If it was even possible to be any harder than he already was the sight of Jon in this position before him with his hands resting on his legs, head bent, would have gotten him there.

"Very good..." Sam breathes the words and watches the red flush flood his face again. Moving his legs to hang off the side of the bed in front of Jon, Sam impatiently undoes the ties on his pants and under garments pulling both down, letting out a low deep gasp as his erection hits the cold air. It was almost like he was working on autopilot, just knowing what he wants and doing it.

"Put your hands on my thighs just like...yes, that's it," Sam encourages as Jon does so, still not looking at him but that is okay for now. "Nice and easy, see they'll like this...show that you're taking a bit of time with them and not just rushing them out and maybe they'll feel properly serviced and respected...yes, just like that..." Sam nods, trying not to moan as Jon rubs his thighs with his fingers, rubbing over his legs before trailing his fingers higher.

"You may want to draw this out as much as you can, I imagine you can even make them orgasm easily enough without even having to actually sex, but I don't know if that would be enough to- oh- you don't have to - ohhhhhhh fuuuck Jon!" 

Sam's eyes bulge as every nerve he has explodes with goosebumps of intense pleasure as Jon finally looks up, leans in, opens his mouth and wraps his lips around the head of his cock. Sam can't hold back from grasping a hand into that beautiful hair as he watches those full lips wrap around him, to say nothing of the sensation of being in his hot wet mouth, feeling his tongue rubbing over his head, drawing out copious amounts of precum. And that was before Jon began to suck.

"Jon! Jooon, Jon..." Sam could only repeat his name as waves of intense pleasure washed over him, sending chills over his entire body. "You're so _good_ Jon, Jooon, oh fuuuuck...yeeees..." Rubbing his hands over his hair, Sam moves hips up slightly, tugging Jon's hair to push another two inches into his mouth. Resting there, Sam digs his fingernails into his scalp as Jon moves back slightly and back on, rubbing him with his lips and all over with that talented tongue.

It is no surprise to Sam when he feels himself about to cum, only able to mumble, "Jon, I'm gonna-" before breaking off into a guttural moan, pouring everything he has into Jon's mouth, watching as his cheeks expand to contain it before it slowly disappears. Yet another spike of pleasure flushes his exhausted body as he realizes Jon swallowed every bit and his tongue rubs over him a few more times before letting him drop from his mouth.

Falling back against the bed, completely overwhelmed with how good he feels now, Sam can't help but wonder if he had under estimated Jon. Maybe he _was_ cut out for this kind of arrangement after all.

Fighting with himself, Sam manages to lift himself back up on his elbows again, watching as Jon rises to his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand almost shyly. A warm smile spreads across Sam's face at the gesture, "Well done." He compliments him whole heartedly.

The deepest blush yet lights Jon's face as he turns away, "It...it was nothing, just...kind of, what I'd imagine would be nice? Anyway...thanks for ah...the help. I appreciate it."

"What, are you thanking _me_ ?!" Sam managed to sit up further, his brows lifted all the way up to his hairline.

Jon shot him a look, turning back. "Of course I'm thanking you. You're letting me use you to practice? I mean, you're only doing this to help me, so of course you deserve thanks."

Sam didn't quite know how to reply to that. "I..." he trails off, looking over Jon, eyes coming to rest between his legs and he bolts much more upright at the sight of the tent now between his legs.

"Anyway, I should go now, though." Jon moves rather stiffly towards the door, "I said I'd meet with Stannis and so I'd-"

"Go?" Sam asks, confused, "Why would you go now, I mean, shouldn't I also help you out too?" Confusion twists his mind as he watches Jon go even more red than he had the entire evening and shake his head hard.

"No, no! I'm good, I just, uh, I've gotta go. Bye Sam, thanks again!"

With that Jon slips from his room and Sam is left staring at the closed door, still lightheaded from cumming so hard. With a sigh and a shrug he lays back against the bed. Whatever just happened, Sam will figure out later. For now he will consider the night a total victory and worthy of a nice long nap.


	3. Denial and Stannis

They say you learn something new every day.

Well after that experience with Sam, Jon certainly learned something new about himself.

 _Breathe, just breathe, you're alright._ Jon encourages himself as he walks somewhat unsteadily, painfully, away from the door to his own chambers. For once the burst of icy wind that hits him in the face is a relief as Jon pauses in one of the open corridors of Castle Black.

Brushing the snow carelessly off the railing, Jon grips it with his hands and pushes back, bending over to look down at his feet as the cold air blows through his hair. Closing his eyes against the rays of the sun rising, he focuses on the feeling of the aching cold, willing it to chase his arousal away.

 _You're alright, you got away before he saw, so, you're alright._

Of course Jon knows it is perfectly normal to respond to stimuli, much like Sam himself did and he knows his best friend certainly would not be judgmental if he had seen. But...Sam had had his cock stimulated. There had been warmth and wetness engulfing him - of course he would have been aroused to the point of release, any red blooded man would have been in those circumstances.

But then, what was Jon's excuse?

Jon had always loved putting his mouth anywhere and _everywhere_ on Ygritte, that was no secret between the two of them. And it wasn't just to please her either, though she certainly expressed appreciation for the act. No, he himself _selfishly_ loved the feeling of being on his knees for her, licking and sucking her. Tasting her and feeling her rubbing up against his face, his nose buried in her-

 _Okay okay, NOT helping._ Jon lets out a low grunt and lifts his head to let an especially icy gust of wind hit him directly in his now very flushed face.

But that was one thing, something that he assumes must be relatively normal. And of course he imagines that men who lay with each other must also provide and receive oral sex. Once would also hope that both parties would enjoy the acts or they would not do it. He just had not known that he is someone like that. Did it mean that he enjoys sex with men? Was it all men? Or was it something specifically about Sam? Did he actually enjoy _all_ forms of sex with _any_ man or was it just oral and was it just Sam?

Blowing out a hard breath, Jon opens his eyes and looks unseeingly at the courtyard below and tries to remember at what point he felt a sexual attraction to Sam. He had liked him immediately, that was no secret - had felt a desire and need to protect him before he even knew him, and he was one of his closest friends. But sexually?

 _"I suggest you stop arguing with me and get on your knees. Now." The feeling of warmth under his hands, the heady scent of arousal, the look of care in soft and warm eyes, fingers in his hair, rubbing his scalp, caring for him, the appealing salty bitter taste, the warm full pleasant feeling of something filling his mouth._

Even just the memory of those words and sensations send a spike of arousal through Jon and he lets out a breath in a puff. Right. Still aroused, check.

Still, his face twists into a frown as he tries to directly connect any of that to _Sam_ in particular. Other than the kindness and warmth in his eyes he's having a hard time. How much of it was just having _someone_ being kind to him, treating him nicely and touching him? Not even necessarily gentle touching but with care and affection. Which...isn't right. Those sorts of acts aren't typically done unless there is more. Unless it's a stronger and deeper caring, devotion and mutual attraction.

 _But then, it's not like Sam really wanted to be in this situation anyway._ Jon reminds himself with a sigh. This whole situation has put both of them into a position they didn't want to be in and Jon knows that now, especially after how much he enjoyed it, he can never ask Sam to help him out again. It would be too awkward, especially with Gilly being around as well. 

_Oh gods, Gilly, what if she's not okay with this? I'll have to ask Sam, he must have cleared it with her first or he wouldn't have offered. But then, I was dreading it and being mopey and pathetic in front of him, gods, what if it was a spur of the moment suggestion._ Jon tries to calm his panic at the thought of ruining the best relationship his dear friend has. _No, no, it's okay, I'll fix it. He probably did talk to her, but if not, I will. And if necessary I'll explain to her that it didn't mean anything and I just really needed Sam's help. He was just being kind and good and generous...it was all my idea and fault and he didn't even want to but I convinced him that I needed help._

Finally, the guilt combined with the thoughts of Gilly have brought his arousal under control and Jon closes his eyes once more. Even though they were initially excuses to give Gilly, the more he thought about it the more realized that was very likely what had actually happened. _Right. No more involving Sam. If any of the men were serious about it and not just trying to fuck with me then I will do what I have to do to earn their loyalty and respect on my own._ Jon reaffirms to himself but can't resist a snide, _also try not to be a stupid and naive child next time and half fall in love with the first person who touches you. Your track record in that area? Pathetic. Very pathetic._

Almost as though summoned there by his own thought Jon abruptly feels two hands on his waist and lets out an undignified (but very manly) yelp of startled surprise at the feel of hands dragging him backwards so that he's further bent and feels a poking _something_ settle hard up against his arse. _That almost feels like...but, it can't be, not just from this...when it's so cold, gotta be...something else..._ Jon is so startled he does not react but to freeze where he is.

"Ohhh practicing for your new position Lord Commander? Taking..." The man gives a thrust with his hips, pushing Jon harder against the rail, "any early requests?"

"Oh that's good, Rand, taking! Like taking it! It being our cocks!"

Jon closes his eyes again for a moment to try and control mixed emotion of shock, disbelief, embarrassment and rising anger as he tugs hard against the railing and pulls himself around. The hands on his hips are persistent but he manages to turn enough to dislodge the hardness so it rubs against his hip instead. "Oh right, yeah, real clever, did it take you all night to think of that one?"

"We'll take you all night!" Randall's companion, a man Jon doesn't know the name of, replies, as though it's the most intelligent thing he could come up with. Sad thing is, it just might be.

"Charming." Jon grounds out as he manages to get enough leverage with help from his knee pushing to shove Randall away. "Don't you ever get tired of being...so annoying?" Jon asks somewhat weakly as he changes away from 'an asshole' at the last moment, not wanting to give them an opening.

"Hey hey come on darling," Randall replies, running his fingers through Jon's hair for a moment before Jon knocks his hand away, "Don't be like that. I can be nice and friendly...you wouldn't be able to believe how nice I can be. Especially to one as pretty as you."

Catching the hand reaching around towards his ass once more, Jon lets out a low grunt and he forcefully shoves him away. "Right. I'm sure you're a real charmer. But nothing has been officially decided yet and _no_ I'm not _taking_ any early...requests." Crossing his arms firmly, Jon meets his eyes with a scowl, "Nor do I appreciate being constantly mocked. So just leave me alone."

"I think that is that, boys. Now I need a word with your Commander. You are dismissed." A new and entirely difference voice speaks and Jon turns away to hide his embarrassment. 

As if it wasn't humiliating enough now King Stannis gets to see evidence of the entire situation. News was bound to reach him at some point but this isn't exactly a moment to be proud of for Jon. Especially because his erection, while considerably softened, still hasn't completely gone away.

Jon continues to scowl as the two men bow to the king and beat a hasty exit. Trying to keep the petulance from his tone, Jon meets his eyes. "I didn't need your help. I was handling it...your Grace." He finishes, remembering himself just in time.

Still luckily for him Stannis seems more amused than annoyed and lifts a brow at him, "I did not think that you needed help. I was dismissing them as I came to speak with you, not them." With that the king turned and headed back down the way he came.

Surprised for a moment Jon realizes he's meant to follow. Thankfully walking is considerably easier now and Jon has a morning of conversations likely regarding the wildlings and politics in his future. With that in mind he picks up the pace and follows a tad more eagerly. Though he loathes politics any excuse to avoid his current situation is one he will gladly latch onto with both hands.

*****

It is extremely rare for Stannis, true and rightful king of the seven kingdoms to find a person he did not mind being around. Perhaps it was something to do with his aforementioned position, but it certainly seems most days that all people are sycophants. Davos aside, it is rare for Stannis to enjoy another's company. Enjoy would be a strong word even when it came to his wife and as for the Red Woman...that was something else entirely.

But the more time that he came to spend with the Lord Commander Jon Snow, he found himself genuinely enjoying his insight into strategies and point of view. Perhaps it had something to do with his extended amount of time forced to fraternize with the lower class, as a bastard, but his views were often entirely different from Stannis'. And he had the nerve to speak those views. 

So it was when word reached Stannis of the new rules the Night's Watch were planning to impose upon their young commander he was excited by the prospect. Perhaps this would finally be the tipping point at which Jon could leave the brotherhood who already asked so much of him. From the scene he had interrupted in the courtyard he surmised it wasn't something Jon was looking forward to doing.

To spare the boy some level of embarrassment before broaching the topic, Stannis dismisses both Davos and Melisandre from the meeting with a curt order and wave of his hand. Davos shoots him a look and Stannis stares back at him pointedly. He can almost see the words on the tip of his tongue, wanting to stay and make sure Stannis doesn't intimidate the the Commander to following his will.

Still Davos is nothing if not loyal as he turns to leave despite his misgivings. The lady's exit is far more troublesome as she runs a hand along the Snow boy's arm in passing, combined with the lingering intensity of her gaze which had been leveled at him from the moment he came into the room Stannis had taken as his office.

Once they are alone, Stannis wastes no time. "I understand you have some new duties to attend to now, as Lord Commander."

Something in Jon seems to shrink as he lets out a sigh, clearly the topic is not his favorite. "Possibly."

"Possibly." Stannis repeats.

"Yes..." Jon lips twice briefly before he crosses his arms over himself where he's seated across from Stannis. "Possibly."

"Well." Stannis digests that information for a moment, "I wouldn't put much faith in it remaining possibly, _Snow_." Stannis puts emphasis on his name as though to remind him what he had rejected, "Most men are not as self sacrificing or as noble as you and most men are not as averse to vice as I. When given the opportunity to give into their baser lusts with someone more attractive than they deserve do you honestly think that will remain as 'possibly'?"

Perhaps Stannis should second guess his thought that Jon Snow's thought processes were logical if he could not see where this would end. But then it was likely that the bastard was living in denial of something he did not wish to happen. 

"Heedlessly rejecting the reality of a situation and pretending it is not true only leads to folly." Stannis warns the clearly uncomfortable and shifting man in front of him, "They will force your hand and they will want you to do it. So. I offer to you again. Pledge yourself to me so you can fight by my side to avenge your family and rule the north. I will not offer a third time."

Perhaps it is something to do with also being an overlooked and overshadowed under appreciated child but Stannis felt an odd sort of connection to this boy. Perhaps it is because of that connection that he especially does not appreciate the rejection he abruptly knows has to be coming a second time. Just the fact the boy does not look enthusiastic at his words was telling. 

"I do, wholly and completely, appreciate your offer, your Grace, but-"

"Say no more." Stannis interrupts gruffly, "If you would rather be the slut at the Wall than Jon Stark that is your rightful decision to make."

Jon pales at his words and his jaw tightens as he stands. "If there will be nothing else."

"I did not dismiss you." Stannis snaps irritably, looking the boy over. Truthfully he feels...a little bad for the words, but the boy still doesn't seem to realize reality. After a slight pause, Stannis looks away from him, "What do you plan to do now?"

"Get some sleep." Jon replies promptly, curtly, "It has been a long night and is now morning and I-"

"I don't mean this exact moment. What do you plan to do about your situation?"

"I don't see how that's any concern of yours." Is the reply, causing Stannis to turn and stare at the boy, prompting him to swiftly add, "Your Grace."

Studying him, Stannis can't help but find his anger cooling by several degrees. He still isn't sure what it is about the boy, exactly, but something about just being in his presence makes him want to help him. _Perhaps it's a good thing our time together will be short if he unknowingly is under my skin after only a handful of conversations._

Adopting a surprisingly gentle tone, Stannis comes around the table to stand in front of Jon, meeting his eyes and addressing him seriously. "There is never any shame in doing your duty, no matter what it is that is being asked of you. My words before may have been harsh but they were true - these men _will_ seek to turn you into their slut."

Stannis continues to look at Jon even as the boy breaks eye contact to look away, running a hand through his hair. Even just that action alone is oddly appealing. _It is both a blessing and a curse that this boy took his father's lessons so deeply to heart. To be so shunned by society has made him strong but also so ill prepared for the attention he receives. All the more for how foreign dishonor is to him. He truly does not see it. But what sane person would willingly be able to resist him if given the chance?_

Vehemently squashing that thought before it progresses further Stannis sighs softly as Jon replies, "I'm...I'm not so sure that any of that is true or will happen, but, say it does?" The Lord Commander abruptly meets his eyes again, "If, if what you say is true, what then? What do you think I should do?"

Contemplating the question for a moment, Stannis then replies, "I think you should do your duty. Do what is asked of you according to the guidelines strictly adhering to the laws in place. But you must not allow any man free reign over your body - keep everything restricted to the times and places specified as necessary. When outside of them come down hard on any who would question or disobey you." 

After a slight pause, he continues as a thought occurs to him, "But in those times and places - do not hold back. If they think they are getting to you and having a negative effect on you, you will find the men returning over and again will be only your enemies. Find a way to detach if you can and if not, perhaps...perhaps seek advice from those well read on such topics."

Surprisingly, Jon seems to be listening attentively as he repeats, "Those well read on such topics...?"

"Yes." Stannis answers with a swift nod, "It is always wise to listen to those older and more experienced. Perhaps make a visit to the Mole's Town brothel. The women there will likely have experience with the specific men who will seek you out."

"I...I never even thought of that." Jon replies with amazement.

"I do, occasionally, have some good advice." Stannis replies with a lifted brow, telling himself not to smile fondly, he's not smiling fondly, good kings don't smile fondly or show emotion.

"Oh, yes, of course, I didn't mean..." Jon trails off with a shake of his head. "I only meant that, well, you've given me a lot to think about, your Grace." The bastards eyes meet his as his lips curve into a small smile, "And I thank you for it. I am truly sorry that I have to reject your offer, but my place, in whatever capacity, is still here."

"Yes, I understand." Stannis replies shortly, turning his back on the boy. "That will be all for now, you can go."

Jon gathers himself and exits but Stannis does not turn to see him off. Instead his hand raises to rub at his forehead as he feels the old but still familiar twinge of appreciation in his body. _It is truly a good thing our time together will be short. A very, very good thing indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have had thoughts that this story could clearly be a bit darker given the premise. I've been having fun keeping it light and humorous but if anything a bit darker does happen, would people want to read it or would you prefer I continue to gloss over it and keep it light? I haven't decided yet so any comments/thoughts in regards to this would be appreciated and taken under consideration.


	4. Growing Pains

"This is what you've really always wanted, isn't it?"

The question comes to Jon as though from a distance. He can't see anything past the pelvis pushing hard into his face, nor can he speak save the muffled noises which are easily drowned out by the thick, full and hard cock halfway down his throat.

"It's okay to admit it really, everyone knew it all along anyway."

Jon doesn't have any idea whose length his throat is clenched around, whose skin is rubbing against his cheeks, whose balls are rubbing hard against his chin and lips. He supposes it doesn't matter.

"It's funny, really, that you thought you could hide behind noble actions and a pout - as if that would make your real desires any less noticeable. Any less _shameful_."

The moan that escapes Jon is one of protest. He should fight it. He should argue. It's not shameful, is it, to lay with another man? Some in the South think it is but the old Gods held no such prejudices. Even if it is then, well, these men are just as guilty as he is.

He rubs his tongue around the thick heavy cock as he feels his legs spread and a presence settle behind him. The thick musky scent of the man above him fills his being. Something hard and heavy brushes against his ass, rubbing and grinding against him. His own already swelling hardness throbs and aches harder as his body vibrates with desire.

"You think because it's your _job_ to do it that makes it okay? Trying to hide behind it as though it's honorable. No, boy, you can't hide. No matter how you try, you can't hide your filthy worthless bastard blood."

A hand brushes his arousal and Jon chokes on his own moan around the man inside him. Fingers rub and massage around his ass before squeezing firmly and hitting him so hard the smack echoes as his body jerks and his legs spread wider.

"Pretend it's your duty even as you know _you_ make it filthy and wrong. Pretend that you don't taint it with your worthlessness. But you can't pretend you don't want it."

Jon's entire body jerks hard and fast as he lets out a loud groan, rolling and hitting the floor, hard. Eyes squeezing more tightly shut, his breath comes in hard pants for several seconds before he stops. He then realizes he can still hear and feel heavy breath on his neck.

Eyes snapping open, Jon stares in shock into the red eyes of his other half.

"Ghost..." he breathes and without hesitation wraps his arms fully around his wolf's neck. The animal patiently takes a step closer to him, allowing the action as Jon pushes his face into his white fur.

 _Gods, it felt so real..._ Jon realizes slowly as he comes to grips with the fact that he's not only still fully dressed but wrapped in several extra cloaks and sitting on the floor in the room he hasn't used in several weeks. Not since he became Lord Commander.

Heart still slowing, Jon pulls away from his direwolf and unsteadily lifts himself up to sit on the edge of the bed. His very real and very present erection not making the job any easier. 

Now he remembers. 

It had to only have been a few hours ago that he had departed his meeting with Stannis, returning to his quarters to find Sam still asleep. Not wanting to disturb him and certainly not wishing to invite himself to bed with him after what happened, Jon had instead left his burly cloak of command and returned to the rooms where he had used to sleep with the men. Buried in furs he successfully avoided being recognized, or at least disturbed, and slipped into a few fitful hours of sleep.

 _And such a nice dream it was too..._ Jon sighs as he glared halfheartedly down at himself. Though what he was doing, what was being done to him, was not real his apparently very interested arousal is.

Resolving to not acknowledge it by doing anything about it, Jon instead turns his attention to his wolf. "What're you doing here?" he asks him, unable to stop a fond smile as the wolf simply looks back at him. "You know you're not supposed to run free in here with the others are sleeping. Not since that time with Rast. I hate that I had to agree to keep you confined but at least you're allowed to roam sometimes." Though none of the other men are currently present it is still a risk.

Still, Jon would be lying if he said he didn't find his presence comforting. Running a hand through Ghost's thick fur again he found comfort in his steady pants of breath. Jon tries not to think about the dream he had just had and the flush of embarrassment and arousal it left behind. It was far from the first time his subconscious sought to remind him of his lack of value but it _was_ the first time that reminder became tangled up with a sex dream. Specifically one of him being fucked. By men.

"What am I going to do?"

"I would probably start with getting dressed."

Surprised by the answering voice, Jon whirls around to find Stannis' Hand, the Knight Sir Davos standing in the doorway. Removing his hand from Ghost on instinct, as though he had been caught doing something he wasn't allowed to, Jon jumps to his feet. "Sir Davos! I-uhm-does the King require anything?"

"Relax, Lord Commander, I was only teasing. There is no rush, but I am here to escort you and a half dozen men to Mole's Town." Davos replies.

Frowning slightly, Jon shoves off the remaining furs and starts to redress in his clothing from the day prior. "Escort us to Mole's Town?"

"Yes," Davos answers, "The King stated that he wishes an update on the conditions of the town as it was hit hard by a Wildling attack shortly before your battle here at castle Black and our arrival. We have supplies for the remaining citizens and thought it best if you come with us. A banner, or cloak in your case, of friendship so they recognize us as allies immediately instead of another possible attack. Given their recent tragedy it seemed like a prudent idea."

Jon dresses as Davos explains, his mind slowly processing the information. "And...the King requesting that I personally accompany you?"

The Knight's lips twitch briefly before he nods. "Yes, he was very specific to that point, I'm afraid. I trust you don't have any other plans for the day?"

"No. I...I don't." Jon replies, still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that Stannis would do this for him. And it is clearly for him. Jon had been wondering how he was going to come up with an excuse to visit the Mole's town brothel - especially given that the men were still, technically, not allowed to do so and it would certainly look as though he was going for carnal reasons. Which was somewhat true in the end, but Jon didn't know if it was better or _worse_ that he was going there to be taught _by_ a whore instead of purchasing time with one.

Even better than that was the fact that the excuse Stannis and Davos are using is hardly an excuse at all. They _should_ check up on the town after their brutal attack and see if they can be of help now that the battles are over and the Wildlings defeated. Really, they should have done that before if they'd been able to but couldn't risk the men. Now, well, Jon supposes it will have to be better late than never, ulterior motives aside.

Finishing dressing, Jon trails a hand over Ghost, "I will bring my direwolf as well, it will be good for him to roam outside of Castle Black. I will meet you at the front gate shortly."

"Very good, Lord Commander." Davos replies, turning to leave.

"And-" Jon stops himself as Davos pauses at the door, trying to think of a way to word it. Failing that he simply states. "Thank you."

Davos gives him a quick look and sad smile, "For what?" he asks before he then exits, not waiting for a reply.

*****

Sam awoke feeling better than he had in a very very long time. Perhaps even in his life, though the ever-present chill in the air did its best to dispel that notion.

Even still that simply gave him cause to bury himself deeper under the covers of the warm soft bed he was resting in. _Ahh yes, much better..._ Sam let out a content sigh, enjoying how pleasant and relaxed his body felt. _Nothing like a good night's rest..._ Though as that thought occurred to him his hazy brain works a bit further enough to realize sunlight was streaming into the room doing its best to further wake him. Stubbornly wanting to hold onto the remnants of sleep, Sam buried his face into his pillow and inhaled deeply.

 _Jon._ Sam smiles to himself briefly before frowning in confusion. _But why..._ All at once it comes rushing back to him, causing him to scramble to a sitting position and looking blearily around the room. Jon himself was nowhere in sight but he was definitely still in his room, in his bed. Which explained why it was so much more comfortable - perks of being Lord Commander - but not why he was still here and Jon was not. 

_Especially after he...after we..._ Sam's face flushed as his smile broke back out again. No wonder his body felt so good, he had finally actually done it. _It_ it. The _big_ it.

Shoving the covers and furs aside, Sam scrambles out of bed and to his feet. Shivering in the biting cold his smile spreads as he bends down to pick up his pants which he had fallen asleep without. _I had taken them off just before..._ Yanking them back on and up he tries not to linger too long on the _intensely_ pleasant memory. At least, not yet! There'd be plenty of time to linger on it further later but first he had to tell...to tell...someone? Normally he would be rushing to tell _Jon_ , but...

 _But I think he already knows._ Sam wipes a hand over his face still unable to stop smiling. His mind flickers briefly over a few of the other men of the watch taking a moment to imagine the satisfaction he would feel at letting those who constantly put him down that he was no longer a virgin. The thought goes no further than that, of course, as Sam would never do that to Jon and truly experiencing something so wonderful with his best friend like that...there weren't a lot of people who would understand and be happy for him in the way he would hope. Plenty would be jealous, a few angry, but as far as just happy for him, proud of him? Unlikely.

Leaning on the side of the bed, Sam is tugging on his shoes when the thought occurs to him and he hits himself that it wasn't his first thought. _Of course, Gilly!_ There wasn't anyone else who understood him like she did and Sam loved the moments when she actually seemed to admire him. _She will be happy for me,_ Sam thinks, confidently, _not only that, but perhaps she will be glad for my new experience. Maybe she would even let me show her..._

Unable to hold back a slight laugh, Sam stands straight and tall again, shaking his head to himself. There was no reason to get ahead of himself but at least he knows of who he needs to talk to next about it. Unless of course he happens to run into Jon himself on the way. _Odd that he left, and didn't come back..._ Sam doesn't allow that thought to linger, however. As Lord Commander, Jon had a lot more duties to attend to now than prior - and a lot more than simply the one new one that Sam himself had been admittedly fixated on.

He wasn't worried. He was sure he would see Jon sooner rather than later - for now he just had to find Gilly and spread the news of his good fortune. He couldn't wait to see the look on her face.

*****

Keeping in mind that Sam is not the most popular person in Castle Black he wisely skirts the edges of the groups of men as he carries out his hunt for Gilly. In the mess hall several men are eating what Sam can only assume is a late lunch or early dinner. The way they look at him as he enters only to then lean in to whisper together makes the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

It doesn't help that Jannos Slynt is in the middle of the group and doesn't bother to hide his sneer. Sam resolutely walks past them, knowing there is no point in asking for their help. His steps falter as he passes and he distinctly hears the conspiring men whisper Jon's name. Still, he ignores them and continues onward.

It was likely they were loud enough for him to hear intentionally, trying to get a rise out of him and force a confrontation. Unfortunately for them, Sam is in too good of a mood to let them get to him.

Sam finally finds Gilly in the lowest and warmest part of the castle, kept that way by massive fires that are kept as long as any brave soul dares to do the washing. Both to keep that person's hands from freezing right off and to stop the water from turning to ice it is heated on the fires before then switched quickly and used for as long as the person can stand it. Really, Sam should not be surprised to find her here set to this task. She is far braver than most of the men and suffers through the conditions without complaint as long as they keep her and baby Sam.

Admiring her for a moment Sam then approaches her to joyfully tell his tale.

It is clear, after he is finished with his story, that Gilly did not quite take to it with the enthusiasm Sam was expecting. 

"So that's it, you've done the deed?"

"Well, I suppose there are a few different definitions of what _the deed_ entails, exactly. For example, according to my research in some cultures nothing but actual penetration counts for-"

"Sam!" Gilly impatiently throws down the sopping shirt she was scrubbing into the bin, "Stop trying to make it confusing. I asked you a simple question. You've had sex then? With Jon?"

To Sam's surprise she does not seem to be entirely pleased. "Well, yes. I have."

Gilly locks eyes with him but before he could distinguish her expression she breaks it and goes back to scrubbing the laundry. Albeit with increased vigor. He is about to ask her what's wrong before she speaks. "Well, I'm so happy for you, really, I am. But I have a lot of work to do so if you don't mind." Rather than waiting for him to move the short distance away Gilly abruptly plows through him, shoving him to the side to grab another armful of stinking clothing and sink it back into the basin for washing.

Put out by her less than thrilled reaction, Sam takes a seat next to her and grabs a scrubbing board. "Let me help you." To which she only grunts in return.

Taking a moment, Sam reviews the situation and tries to see what he may have missed. Perhaps it is just a female thing to not want to talk in detail about sex? But she seems angrier than someone who just doesn't want to talk about it. _It's not like we didn't discuss it prior, she seemed all for it then, why the sudden change now?_

Rather than beat around the bush or try to subtly figure out what was going on, Sam does the smart thing. He asks. "Gilly." And similar to how he handled the situation with Jon, he waits until she looks at him, then smiles gently. "Are you mad at me?"

She frowns and looks down, slowing her intense scrubbing. "I'm not mad at you."

"Are you sure? Because you do kind of seem like you are."

She seems to consider that before looking back at him. "I'm not- I have no right to be mad at you."

Sam disagrees, "There is no right or wrong to feel anything, Gilly. If you are mad you are and I would rather talk and maybe apologize for whatever I've done wrong? That's better than you trying to not be mad when you are."

"It isn't right though," she argues, dropping the task entirely to turn toward him. "We talked about it. I know you've always said you had feelings for him and I was being good and open and supportive. Or I thought I was. I mean, I was the one who told you that feelings and love can be free and open, they don't have to be committed to just one person. I mean some of that is what my father taught us, though he was possessive he encouraged us to open with each other. And I know, Sam, I know a lot of what he taught us was wrong according to your way of life."

Gilly cuts off his attempt to interrupt her and continues quickly as though it is a relief to finally get it off her chest. "But there are some parts of it that just make sense. I wasn't...ready, myself, to make it, us, it's not, I never found it that fun. And I thought that this would be perfect. You could have sex with him but still be here with me, for me, and little Sam. And a part of me is happy for you. Really." She meets his eyes with a faint smile, "I like to see you smiling and happy, glad you got to experience something you enjoyed. But at the same time, I just, it makes me a little not happy too."

Eyes widening, Sam realizes, "You, you're jealous of me. Of us."

That wasn't the best thing to say as Gilly instantly closes off again, turning away and back to the laundry. "Well I'm sure you and Jon will be very happy together. Feel free to drop _my_ son and me back off at the nearest town and hopefully we won't get almost murdered this time."

"No, no, Gilly, I'm sorry," Sam immediately apologizes, standing to rush over to face her again, kneeling in the freezing water and grabbing her achingly cold hands. "I never meant for my happiness to cause you pain and you are still the most important person to me. My priorities haven't changed and neither have my feelings for you."

Moving a hand under her chin, Sam tilts her head up to look into her beautiful eyes. "It's still where you go, I go too." Sam promises softly, "You and Sam are still my priority and I never ever want to pressure you into doing something you're not ready for or don't want. If it bothers you I swear that I...that I won't do anything with him again."

Gilly, swayed by his words nods through them until the last and then shakes her head. "No, I, I don't want to get in the way of your happiness or what you share. I know it means a lot to you and I-"

"Which is why it's only you that I am willing to give it up for." Sam interrupts his libido cursing him but his heart knowing deep down it's the right decision "Some things are more important and _our family_ is one of them."

Sam can see she is comforted by his sincerity and honesty as she relaxes in his arms. "Alright then. Alright. I'm sorry I wasn't more honest sooner but I didn't know how it would feel."

"It's okay Gilly, I didn't either." Sam offers a small smile, ignoring the part of him that ached at the thought of finally being with Jon just to never have him again. It's really not a decision. Gilly and the baby are his everything and Jon, well, Jon would never _belong_ to him, with him, as they do. "I'll have to tell him next time I see him that I can't help him anymore." Sam realizes out loud.

Gilly stiffens marginally in his arms and fixes him with a small smile. "Well, I didn't say anything about that, now. I know he's your friend and he still needs help and, well, we could still try and make it work. Just don't even think about leaving me out next time."

Sam's eyebrows shoot upward along with his suddenly awakening and interested bits. _I love this woman, truly, I do._

*****

Jon spends almost the entire ride to Mole's Town in silence, lost in his own thoughts and nervousness as to what to expect upon arrival. How does one ask for help for a problem like this, especially from a stranger. Jon has been lucky enough so far in that Stannis and Sam were each willing to approach him for help, but he has no idea how to ask the women at the brothel about it. Or why indeed any of them would want to lift a finger to help him.

Thankfully he is not making the trip alone. Davos was right about Stannis sending aid as they were bringing a few other men with carts laid heavy with provisions for the small town. And Ghost's presence by his side is comforting though the wolf often runs ahead - it warms Jon's heart to see him able to roam free even if just for a short time.

A few times Jon catches Davos looking his direction as though he wants to speak and each time Jon pointedly speeds up, calls out for Ghost or looks away. He doesn't know what Stannis told his right hand man about his situation but the few people who know the better in Jon's mind. And while Davos seems trustworthy Jon refuses to lay his problems on more people than absolutely necessary.

 _Bad enough to burden the women of this town after all they've been through..._ The closer they get to the town the more Jon can see the damage the place endured at the hands of the Wildlings. _Death, death and more death...the Wildlings, the men of the Watch, we're on the same side but fighting each other and only innocents get caught in the middle._

Which of course was the real point of the matter, isn't it? When it comes down to it Winter is still coming and Jon still needs to figure out a way to get the Wildlings and the Watch to work together or there will be nothing but death for all of them. Maybe the law could work in his favor if it gets the men to trust him enough to allow them to help the Wildings?

Doesn't make it any easier to do even with the best of motivations.

When they actually arrive at the run down town and make their way to the tavern, Jon is more than happy to allow Davos to do most of the talking. He _still_ hasn't managed to come up with what he wants to say to them. Too busy sulking, brooding and thinking about his own problems.

"Welcome, welcome to our fine establishment." A voice greats them jovially the moment they entire the brothel. "You may call me Matron, Madame or Pussy Cat, I answer to all three." An older but more finely dressed than Jon expected woman greets them, her eyes showing particular interest in Davos.

"I am Sir Davos Seaworth, Madame, it is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance." Davos nods deeply to the matron before gesturing back towards Jon, drawing her eyes to him for the first time. "And this is Jon Snow the-"

"I can see him, sir Knight. We were expecting to consolidate our forces and the wenches at Baypine send but one lad, accompanied by a knight of all things?" Her piercing eyes size up a stunned Jon. "Hard to tell with all those clothes on but we all dress heavy for travel." She nods as though that statement makes any kind of sense. "The Wildlings killed too many of us, such a shame but we've been so busy we've barely had time to mourn our dead. More help is really appreciated and I won't forget it!"

Realization dawning, Jon gapes as her eyes seem to undress him as she goes on, "We will take him, of course. Can always use more boys despite how men like to brag. And he's got the perfect look for it. I trust he's experienced enough? The last one wasn't nearly-"

"I'm not a whore!" Jon cuts her off so quickly and loudly that several other nearby women shoot him looks. Face flushing as he realizes how that sounds he is quick to add, "Not that...there's anything wrong with...I'm just, I'm not- why did you even- no, doesn't matter. Just, I'm- I'm not." Heartily wishing he'd stayed back at Castle Black, Jon forces himself to be quiet as he looks away. _Why do people always think that? Did she know from the last name and assume because my mother?_

Eye brows raised the matron takes the possible insult in stride. "I meant no offense, but we was expecting help, then you show up." She shrugs a shoulder and smiles winningly at Davos. "Can't blame a girl for hoping."

"No indeed." Davos replies, clearing his throat - and possibly a chuckle away at that. "But no, this is Jon Snow, the newly elected Lord Commander of the Night's Watch and-"

"Oh, you're here about that then?" The elderly lady's demeanor changes immediately as she looks at Jon frostily. "We never service no men of the Night's Watch and any who say so are just lying or bragging. We know the rules."

"If your ladyship would allow me to finish," Davos replies and Jon is grateful not to have to explain. The way she is looking at him is uncomfortably reminiscent to the way the Lady Catelyn eyed him - a thought that brings no comfort but an odd stab of longing for simpler times when that was his biggest concern. "We are here on behalf of the rightful king of the seven Kingdoms Stannis Baratheon to help aid you and provide food, clothing and goods after your ordeal with the Wildlings."

Immediately she relaxes and gives Davos that winning smile again, her eyes dancing with happiness. "Oh, a bit of charity? Well that's different then. I'll bow to whatever king wants to sit his ass on the throne so long as he treats us commonfolk well."

"We are honored, my lady." Davos replies sincerely, offering her his arm. And, shooting Jon a quick look and slight nod, he escorts the lady back outside to peruse the offerings.

Again, Jon has to wonder what exactly Davos knows about why he is here. Naturally he understands Davos is trying to help and pulled the lady away so that he would be free of her questions, but, free to do what, exactly?

It wasn't his first time in a whore house but he felt just as lost as the last time. Of course the last time felt like a different life time entirely - that whore house was full to bursting with both whores and customers in much happier times. The shadow of fear and death haunts this older building and it's hard to miss in the way the few girls left lingering don't hold eye contact for long.

_Now what?_

Before Jon gets too far with that thought he is approached by a much younger woman who curtsies to him politely before smiling at him. "Lord Commander." She addresses and Jon realizes she's a little older than she initially looked, her heavy makeup trying to take away several years but she is still young and beautiful.

"My lady." Jon replies awkwardly, not sure why she approached him.

"Would you care to follow me, my lord?" The girl runs her tongue over her lower lip and looks at him through her eyelashes. "I'm sure I could make it worth your while." Her own hand gently ghosts down her ample bosom and Jon clears his throat again.

"I...I'm sure you could, my lady, but that is...not what I am here for." Jon replies as gently as possible. He honestly isn't sure why she is approaching him. It isn't as though she wants to do anything with him for anything more than money and they will be providing many of the things she would need money to buy. Perhaps she feels she owes it to him? Or is this just because he is the Lord Commander and they don't want him to restrict the men for seeing them or try and punish them in some way?

"Perhaps not." The girl counters, moving a few steps closer and slipping her small hand into his, running her fingers over him and giving him a gentle tug. "Why don't you tell me why you are here then, m'lord?"

Thoughts of duty and honor run through Jon's mind as he slowly allows the woman to pull him further into the whorehouse/tavern. The men of the Watch have been so cold and so alone for so very many years. It seems such an unnecessarily sad existence that everything they have to give up should include even just carnal pleasures and a strong companionship. His brothers do the best they can and try to protect and help the helpless. 

As it is his duty it seems only right that Jon not only does it, but does it to the best of his ability. To try and truly open himself up and lay himself on the line for his brothers, to try and give them anything and everything they may want for him and to only ask for some measure of kinship and loyalty in return.

Of course Jon knows himself better than that. Perhaps he would like to think that is all he is focused on, but deep down a large part of him knows that he's...curious. He _wants_ to learn from the woman, not just so he can help others. Really Jon knows he is not so selfless. As much as he would love to be.

Maybe he's curious what it would be like for once in his life to live somewhere and not have there be a dark ominous presence that wishes he was gone. Dead or banished or shamed and rejected. The exact nature of the negative feeling changes, but it's always negative, always. Maybe he just wants to know what it's like to live without that.

_But even that is just a noble lie. Maybe all you really want is to be fucked nice and hard and be the slut everyone already seems to know you are. ___

__Jon wordlessly follows her into a side room and sits when she gives him a gentle nudge toward the bed. Looking up at her, Jon gulps heavily before he speaks._ _

__"Do you have any ale?"_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
